There are people doing absolute fuckeries in the world and getting away with it.

You know that. 

It’s probably what drives you, in your own way, to do what you do. To make a positive change through your work and in your life. That’s certainly what’s always kept me going. 

But what starts off with energy and passion can soon become something you resent. It sucks your time, your creativity, your motivation. And for what? The fuckers still seem to be winning. 

The problem as I see it is that we’ve turned up to the wrong fight with the wrong kit. 

Because we’ve been told to play the game a certain way in order to win. What happens instead is we end up perpetuating the same problems we’re trying to fix. 

And we think that we’re the issue. We don’t have the right knowledge or skills. We’re not working hard enough. We don’t have enough drive. 

So we double down. We sacrifice even more of ourselves for the cause. We throw good money after bad trying to land on the magical solution that will just let us win.

Or we quietly quit. Disappear into ourselves, hoping the problem will go away. Hoping others won’t notice while feeling like everyone is watching you fall.

Either way, you end up feeling guilty that you weren’t able to make it work. Worrying that you’ve let others down. Scared about what to do next.

I’ve been there…

When I started my business I spent thousands of pounds to be part of a members’ club in London. I signed up to countless courses to show me how to grow my followers online. I joined a mastermind who preached the entrepreneurial hustle. 

It didn’t give me a successful business. I thought I was a failure. I often asked myself if I’d done the right thing leaving my well-paying job.

When I worked in corporate I changed my wardrobe to perfect the look required. I fought my introvert to be seen at meetings. I hung out with people who had influence but not integrity. 

It led me to burnout. I thought I was a failure. That I wasn’t a proper ‘career woman’ as I couldn’t cope with the pressure.

The common thread? Trying to fit in, because that’s just what you have to do to succeed. It’s how it’s always been. 

The problem was a massive gap between who I thought I needed to be and who I wanted to be. A gap between the difference I wanted to make and what I believed I had to do for that to happen.

I’ve lost myself too many times. Exhausted trying to be all things to all people. At points I’ve hardly recognised myself and I’ve had to walk away before I completely disappeared. 

It was when I found myself repeating the same pattern again - ending up in another dead-end road where I was questioning why I couldn’t make the impact I wanted - that I stumbled on the answer. 

I’d been playing by other people’s rules. Following strategies created by the very people and systems I wanted to change. 

I didn’t need to know or be more. 

Burning out or selling out weren’t the only options.

I needed to unlearn everything and start writing my own rulebook.

The rulebook - what is it exactly? 

It’s the voice that says you have to be on 24/7 as a business owner. 

The belief that you need to be everywhere to stay visible.

The myth that you can’t charge properly for your services because you’re not experienced enough. 

The assumption that you’re missing something because you’re not doing as well as THAT person. 

The feeling that you’re a rubbish business owner because otherwise it wouldn’t feel so hard. 

The story you repeat about your cause mattering more than you do. 

Years and years of conditioning. What our parents, our schools, our workplaces, our media, our politicians - and nowadays our influencers and entrepreneurs - tell us is required to live and work successfully. 

The societal norms we’ve always followed without ever questioning if it’s for us.

The thing is there isn’t one single way of doing things. People do get success in the methods that haven’t worked for you or me. Even those who are doing the fuckeries have gained power and influence because they’ve followed a set of rules. 

It’s also in their interest to keep the status quo. 

Unlearning isn’t about going off grid, living as a hermit and not engaging with everyday life. Unless that’s what you want.

It’s about starting to understand who you are, what you want and what feels most like you. Questioning the decisions, actions and beliefs that rule you and deciding if you still want it to be that way.

Doing work that matters, leaving people, places and systems better than you found them requires a different approach. 

Following the exact rulebooks that created the problems you’re trying to solve is why you’re still feeling stuck despite trying everything. 

For me that’s meant breaking out of my 9-5 corporate conditioning. Stopping trying to run my business as if I still work in an organisation of thousands.

It’s meant saying no to the cookie-cutter templates and hooks designed to make you ‘stand’ out online but only meaning you fade into a sea of sameness. 

For the people I work with it has meant letting go of the voice of past bosses who put them down and made them feel less than. It’s been about building new relationships with money and what financial freedom means when you’re purpose-driven. It’s finding identity, creativity and meaning again after years of service to others. It’s promoting their work without the ick. It’s finally aligning work and values, not compromising for profit. 

Unlearning isn’t another framework or strategy to follow. It’s a different way of approaching the problems you’re trying to solve with a belief that you have more of the answers within you than you think. 

We can stop the fuckeries by refusing to play the game in the same way anymore. 

Unlearning is a movement. A community of people who are finally saying something has to change. Where we question everything and prove it’s possible to make a positive difference without the sell-out or losing ourselves along the way.

How you can get involved?

Join the community - a place to question, bitch about the BS, share our experiments and figure out what actually works for people like us. 

Work with Lee - for those who want to do more than question. Book a strategy session or 1:1 coaching to get someone in your corner who gets it, who’ll help you ask the difficult questions, and support you as you write your own rulebook.