Unlearn the rules you’ve outgrown.
Reclaim agency over how you work and live.
For people who care deeply, carry responsibility and don’t want to lose themselves to the thing they’re building.
You’re not failing. But you are living by rules you never chose - and some of them are absolute BS!
Rules about:what success should look like
how responsible you need to be
how much you should hold it together
what a “good” leader / founder / professional / partner looks like.
You learned them early and repeatedly through life. You’ve been rewarded for them. They got you here.
But now you’re stuck. They’re costing you clarity, energy, creativity - and your agency:
You’re second-guessing yourself
You’re feeling guilty when you rest
You never put yourself first
You over-function, over-explain, over-carry - for everyone and everything - and call it being ‘capable’ because that’s what you’ve always been rewarded for.
From the outside, you’re performing success.
From the inside, something feels… off.
Not so dramatically that you want to burn everything down; just enough to know that you can’t keep pretending that things will sort themselves out once you’ve… (finished that piece of work / sorted out your emails / gone on that holiday).
The tension you’re feeling isn’t failure - it’s an identity you’ve outgrown.
At some point, unexamined rules stop being helpful and start quietly running your life.
The rules shape:
the decisions you make (and the ones you avoid so as not to ‘rock the boat’)
how you show up at work, in community and with people you love
the structure and rhythm of your days
the size of the life you allow yourself to want
That’s how agency erodes. It’s not dramatic. It’s gradual.
And if you don’t question the rules, you can’t reclaim your choice.
Unlearning doesn’t make life ‘perfect’. It will make it clearer.
People I work with start to:
make decisions with less guilt and less over-explaining
notice when they’re defaulting to responsibility instead of choice
stop contorting their time, energy and creativity around other people’s expectations
build work that fits their actual capacity - not the version of them that used to cope
bring their personality into their work, instead of work being their personality!
reignite passions and hobbies that have been long-neglected
reclaim their time, find their energy and reconnect with those who matter.
If you’re wondering why this matters now:
Because when your sense of identity is wrapped around the work, you lose agency without realising it. You start making decisions from fear - of letting people down, of being seen as difficult, of failing the thing you care about most. (Un)learning is for people who want to stay committed to meaningful work without disappearing inside it - and who are ready to choose themselves without burning it all down.
Step in
start questioning the rules you’ve been living by
Ways to work with me
Go deeper
experiment with support, accountability & space to think
All in
rebuild how you work and live so it actually fits
Hey, I’m Lee
I spent nearly 20 years in corporate communications doing everything ‘right’ - I had the job title, the big income, all the external symbols that “I’d made it!” - but internally I was beyond knackered, completely disconnected and pretending that everything was fine. I’d lost myself in pursuit of what I ‘thought’ I wanted.
It wasn’t until I stepped away - well actually I quit in a dramatic fashion, after the holiday of a lifetime - that I realised a lot of my life had been built on borrowed rules and very convincing BS.
What followed wasn’t a reinvention. It was an unravelling.
I started noticing the rules I’d been living by - about work, worth, time, responsibility. About who I thought I needed to be to belong and succeed.
Now I help other purpose-led people do the same.
Not to become someone new, but to stop contorting themselves around identities that no longer fit.
Here’s what I don’t do:
I don’t tell you who to be
I don’t try to optimise your life into something that looks good but feels wrong
I don’t encourage you to perform success, cross your fingers and hope, or load you up with more BS disguised as growth
My work sits at the intersection of:
identity (the rules you’ve internalised)
behaviour (how those rules play out day to day)
structure (the work, rhythm and life you’re building around them)
Because you can’t change one without touching the others.
We look at the rules you’ve internalised, how those rules shape your decisions and behaviour, and decide how to loosen the ones that are costing you energy, choice and self-trust - without burning everything down just to prove a point!
And I’m not on the other side of this - I’m in it, paying attention, alongside you.
Unlearning is a way of being. Not a tick box exercise.
Nice stuff people have said…
(Un)learning in public
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(Un)learning in public *
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