THE (UN)LEARNING LAB
A three-month experiment for people who care a lot - and are tired of living by rules that were never written for them.
You’ve built a life and career around being capable.
The one people rely on.
The one who gets stuff done.
The one who cares deeply about the work, the people it affects and the consequences of getting it wrong.
And you’ve done it really well…
On the outside you’re running the show – you’re leading in business and life.
But somewhere along the way, caring became over-carrying.
Responsibility turned into self-abandonment.
And the rules that once helped you succeed, quietly started getting in the way.
You question if you’re good enough. You feel like you’ve lost who YOU are.
You don’t need another course, self-help book or productivity system.
And you definitely don’t need to be told to “be more…”.
What you need is space and a way to question the rules you’ve outgrown without burning everything to the ground.
That’s why I built The (Un)learning Lab.
What’s actually going on (and why it feels so hard)
Most of the people who find their way here aren’t stuck because they don’t know enough.
They’re stuck because they’ve absorbed rules like:
I have to do it all
Everyone else comes first
If I slow down, it will fall apart
Doubt means I’m not good enough
Rest is something you earn after the work is done
If I don’t have / do this anymore I won’t be of value
Stress gets the best out of me
I need to look / act / sound like X to be taken seriously.
None of these rules were consciously chosen.
They were inherited, rewarded, reinforced.
And they might have worked at times… until they didn’t.
Now they’re costing you clarity, confidence, creativity and energy.
They’re standing in the way of you living and leading as you. They’re impacting relationships. They’re making you second-guess every.little.thing!
And the problem is: you can’t (un)learn rules you’re still being ‘rewarded’ for living by - at least not on your own.
What The (Un)learning Lab actually is
The Lab is not a programme to follow.
It’s a quiet, BS-free space to:
notice the rules you’re living by
question whether they still make sense
experiment with doing things differently
rebuild self-trust through action, not performance.
This is work you do for yourself - but not in isolation.
You’ll be alongside a small group of people who get it:
people who care deeply, think critically and don’t want to opt out of responsibility – but do want to stop disappearing inside it.
How it works (without turning into “another thing”)
The Lab is outcome-led, not time-led.
There’s one live session a month.
Everything else is designed to fit into the life you already have.
Quarterly reset session (90 minutes)
1
Before the start of the quarter, we slow things down.
You’ll audit:
what you’re carrying
where you’re over-functioning
which rules are quietly shaping your choices
what you want the next three months to feel like
We don’t set goals or woo ourselves into manifesting the ‘perfect’ vision.
Instead, we focus on a clarity and direction that’s uniquely yours.
Monthly experiment prompt
2
Each month (for three months), you’ll receive a written prompt via email (or Substack app if you prefer).
It will provide a question designed to help you identify one rule you’re ready to test - and create your own small experiment around it.
You’ll decide for yourself:
what you try
how visible it is
what ‘success’ even means.
There are no instructions or frameworks to follow. This is about self-leadership, not compliance.
Mid-month co-work & check-in (90 minutes)
3
An optional live session where you can:
work on the thing you’ve been avoiding
reflect on what your experiment is showing you
share (if you want)
be seen without having to explain yourself.
The mid-month check-in provides a pause that can change how you move. Perfect if you need a boost of accountability or a space to reset.
End-of-month reflection
4
At the end of each month, I’ll share a written reflection on my own experiment - what shifted, what didn’t, what surprised me and what I’ll be doing next (if anything) as a result.
You’re invited to reflect too, in your own way - in the comments, quietly, or not at all.
The point isn’t performance, but pattern-spotting.
Quiet community space
5
There’s a private chat space (within substack) if you want:
support
perspective
to say ‘is anyone else noticing this?’
This is completely optional. There’s no pressure to post or perform vulnerability.
It’s a space for thoughtful people doing their own work - together.
Is this for you?
The (Un)learning Lab is not for everyone - and that’s deliberate.
It’s not for you if you want:
a step-by-step system
reassurance without responsibility
certainty before you move
or a programme to follow instead of a question to sit with
And it’s definitely not for anyone who wants to care less.
But it is for you if:
the work you do matters deeply to you
you carry responsibility most people don’t see
you’ve built an identity around being capable and reliable - and it’s starting to cost you
you suspect the rules you’re living by once helped you succeed, but now keep you stuck
you don’t need fixing - you need space to think, test and decide differently
If you’re reading this and thinking ‘I don’t need another solution - I need somewhere I can stop performing’ then yes, this is for you.
What this is NOT
I’m fed up of signing up for things only to realise it’s nothing like I imagined – or indeed needed! So I want to be clear that The (Un)learning Lab is not…
another course
a mastermind with forced intimacy
a productivity bootcamp
a place to “fix” yourself
a space to perform insight.
If you’re looking for certainty, a plan to follow, or someone to tell you what to change - this will frustrate you.
That’s intentional.
Practicalities
Starts: 15 January
The (Un)learning Lab runs three times a year ( starting Jan / May / Sept )
Live sessions: one per month (90 mins)
Emails: two per month
Group size: capped at no more than 15 people
Investment: £90 (this is an introductory price for the January 2026 round only)
Founding bonus: The first five people to join will receive a free 1:1 session with me to support your first reset.
Example structure:
January - Quarterly reset session (90min)
February - Experiment 1
Email prompt
Mid-month co-work (90min)
Email reflection
March - Experiment 2
Email prompt
Mid-month co-work (90min)
Email reflection
April - Experiment 3
Email prompt
Mid-month co-work (90min)
Email reflection
Throughout - quiet community chat space
Why now?
Because if nothing changes, you’ll keep on… holding… absorbing… performing… pushing…
Not because you don’t know better - but because the rules you’re living by won’t let you stop.
This is your chance to interrupt that pattern quietly, deliberately and on your own terms, without the jazz hands or feeling like you’re having to start from scratch.
Are you ready to start (un)learning what no longer belongs to you?
And don’t forget the first FIVE people to book for the January launch will get a BONUS FREE 1:1 with me. Perfect if you want to go a little bit deeper in your (un)learning.
Still got a question? That’s fine. I can’t promise to have all the answers but drop me a line and I’ll try my best 😊.